We’ve talked before about cool movies that centered around boats, and that’s all fine and dandy. Today, though, I want to look at some of the coolest boats you can find on the big screen, and figure out what it is that makes ‘em so damn cool:

• The Deep Core from The Abyss. OK, I know. The first cool movie boat on this list isn’t even a boat. It’s an underwater oil rig. But, given the stuff that happens, how can you NOT include it on this list? The film is a classing in terms of being able to create a real feel of terror just because it takes place too far damn down the ocean.
• Condorman’s Speedboat from Condorman. Yes, that’s right. Condorman. I get that only a very specific demographic ever saw that film in the theatres, and I was one of them. This speedboat was built by the CIA especially for Condorman. It featured a laser cannon turret on the back of the boat. Lasers, dude. On a speedboat. That just rocks. I wonder how much having lasers on my fishing boat would raise my boat insurance?
• Any Bond Villain Boat. Thunderball and Tomorrow Never Dies both feature awesome villain boats. There is the Disco Volante, Stromberg’s Liparus and the ultra cool stealth boat that, if urban legend proves true, was the real-world Sea Shadow stealth demonstration boat. If they could have put a cool boat in with a Timothy Dalton bond film, maybe it would have made it watchable.
• The Yellow Submarine. That thing could launch giant cigars at its opponents, fly through the air and even time travel. To say nothing of Nowhere Man and his antics. Best line of the film is when Ringo reaches over and pulls a lever that’s clearly marked “DO NOT PULL.” When questioned, he replies, “I can’t help it. I’m a born lever-puller (Liverpooler).”
• The Titanic from, well, take your pick. James Cameron’s version will do, if it must. Somehow, the real-life tragedy of this ship seems to add to the big-screen mystique.
• Honorable Mentions. We could throw in the Q-Boat from the Bond film The World is Not Enough, as well as the HMS Bounty, the arkships from 2012 and the mariner’s boat from Waterworld. We should probably throw a nod to the Poseidon from The Poseidon Adventure (not the remake from last decade. It just can’t compare, no matter how much you love Kurt Russell).

Photo via 37Hz