I remember late last spring one Sunday morning I was on Digg. on the front page was a submission from a Saturday Night Live Digital Short called “On a Boat.” It was from the guys of Lonely Island. I watched it and I laughed so hard that I shot pepsi out of my nose. A couple of days later I was listening to the “Incredibad” every day in my Prius. If you haven’t seen the original video, check it out (WARNING: Partially NSFW, Censored version included below):

It was an instant classic. And in some regards, it was somewhat a work of genius. It managed to send up the bling based rap songs of recent years and did so in perfect fashion. The fact that they included T-Pain as part of the song, complete with his vocoder managed to give the parody some real credibility. In fact the song itself stands up as a pretty solid entry into modern hip-hop pantheon.

But, as is likely to happen with any work of worth and merit, it immediately became subject to an onslaught of unfunny and uninspired imitators. The irony that these clones were parodying a parody seemed to be lost on them all.

Take for instance these dimwits who attempt to entertain and enthrall you with their particular brand of humor. But see, they’ve changed the word ‘boat’ to ‘couch’ and gave it an entirely new spin. If you manage to make it through ear assaulting tone deafness of the singing, then please pay attention the the lyrics which are astoundingly awful. It’s amazing to see what happens when over caffeinated, middle class, suburban white teenage males do when they have free time on their hands. This might be the single worst piece of crap I’ve ever witnessed….

Nope… spoke way too soon. The kids from “On a Truck” have managed to make “On a Couch” look like “Citizen Kane.” And if I was a little harsh on the vocals of the couch video kids, well then I apologize because these kids are to singing what Hellen Keller is to driving… I’ll matched, a bad idea, and bound to hurt someone. I’m guessing by the fact that the truck never goes anywhere that none of these kids are old enough to drive. And thank goodness for that. It looks to me like the reasoning portion of their collective brains haven’t matured enough to be capable of making sound decisions. Otherwise this video would have never seen the light of day.

The other video’s simply failed to entertain me. This one managed to actually piss me off. Why? I’ll tell you why. Because at one point they didn’t even bother to change the lyrics at all. You simply can’t do that when you parody something. The whole point it to put your own unique spin on it. When you’re using the lyrics that the artist originally intended then you’re just being lazy. I also get douche chills when I watch the intro to this video and the previous one. Why do they feel the need to re-do the breakfast scene… and do it was mind numbingly bad acting? It was a blindside joke in the Lonely Island video and when you re-make it all you’re doing is making yourself look even more pedantic and thoughtless.

Is that Mary-Kate Olsen? Nope, it’s just some dumb twit trying to be funny on youtube. To quote one of the commenters “I always have to stop somewhere around “wandy-wand”. I just can’t stand the lyrics beyond that. ” Nor can I. And to make matters worse it appears that these two Hermione wannabe’s decided to piggy back a nod to Harry Potter onto their witless parody. Simply nausating.

In the end, what I want to do is to implore people everywhere to kill the “On a Boat” meme. It’s gone too far now. In addition to making yourselves look stupid, annoying thousands of innocent viewers and killing comedy across America… you’ve also managed to kill “On a Boat” itself. If you ever found that video funny, if you have any self-respect at all, and if you believe in God or anything Holy…. please stop the meme. If we must then let’s kill it… kill it with fire. Whatever, but please let the meme die.